The Gulbeden family household has been going through a change lately, and I’m excited! Although how it starts is not as exciting. The change began after a “this-is-enough!” moment. I wish I could lie but in reality it’s at times hard to keep up with housework- especially with a 2 year old toddler that’s messing up whatever you just cleaned and leaving a trail of crumbs and toys everywhere. And laundry….urgh don’t even talk to me about laundry! It’s a bottomless pit! Dirty dishes seems endless too! It’s a mess- which leads to frustration, and stress at times.
One morning, Hubster woke up in frustration because Nunu’s room was messy. Yelling and arguing was exchanged between him and Nunu- with Nunu ended up crying. In response to this, I got angry at hubster for making Nunu cry and I don’t like making kids stress out before school fearing it might influence his studies at school. We ended up blaming each other for not doing any of our chores. On top of that we couldn’t find the car keys anywhere, and Little Lala wasn’t letting me make Nunu’s lunch. Plus, after they left for school, I remembered that we had forgotten to come to school for a teacher meeting that morning.
I was melting out of frustration! This is enough! This morning was not okay! There had to be a better way! Then I remembered one of my friend, Aliyyah, mentioned that she does meetings with her family where they discuss what needed to be done. I researched more about it and discovered AGILE family programming. Please watch this video to learn more about it, it is very inspiring:
Here are my notes from the video:
Children can sense when we are out of control.
Research says children number one want is less stress.
Prepare our children to enter the world.
What do families do right? And make it happier?
Family meeting- increase communication, decrease stress.
Companies do Agile Management.
Agile management becomes a family programming – everybody is accountable.
There’s power in morning checklist.
Everybody gives suggestion and we pick two to work on. E.g: greeting the door . Etc
Ask kids for punishment e.g: Lose dessert for a month.
Agile family manifesto.
1. Adapt all the time. Agile is build to the system of change. Be flexible and open minded
2. Empower your kids. E.g: over reacting. Give 3 minutes of it. If more, give punishment- 1 push up. Reward when achieved.
Children who plan their own goal build their frontal cortex and success more in life.
3. Tell your story. Preserve the core. Stimulate progress
Preserve the core- define your mission- make family mission statements.
These are answers to the question:What’s important to us?
For example: Travelers not tourists. We don’t like dilemmas we like solution. Bring people together.
Great to point what it is we do right.
Tell where you come from, where grandpa comes from.
Children who have a sense of who they are has a bigger self-confidence.
Happiness is not something we find but something we make.
Greatness is not a matter of chance it’s a matter of choice.
Secret of happy family? Try!
After researching more on Agile family programming, I decided to give family meetings a try. I talked to my husband on doing it as a routine every week. We decided to do it every Monday, and agreed that throughout the rest of the week, there will be no yelling! Instead, we will call out an emergency family meeting!
We have been doing this Agile program for a couple of weeks and I can finally say that our house is cleaner and happier! It’s also good for the kids since they also learn leadership values- how to conduct meetings, how to express frustration in a calm way with everybody sitting down ready to listen, and it also teaches them responsibilities.
I will talk about how we conduct our family meetings in another post since this is getting too long 🙂